Every relationship will have rough patches and conflicts. This is totally normal and doesn’t mean that you and your partner aren’t in love or shouldn’t be together. In some cases, couples may need the help of a professional counselor or therapist to address their issues in an effective and healthy way. However, the decision to finally start couples therapy can be difficult. Sometimes one partner may want to go but has trouble bringing up the conversation to their loved one. If you are uncomfortable or don’t know how to bring up the topic of couples therapy to your partner, here are a few tips for navigating the conversation.
Don’t Be Offensive/ Threatening
One mistake that people often make when presenting the idea of couples therapy to their partner is that they come off as offensive and use it as a threat or ultimatum. This is not an effective or healthy way to approach the topic of couples therapy.
Find the Right Time
Another common mistake when it comes to the topic of attending therapy is bringing it up during a fight or disagreement. Doing this can cause a distasteful or defensive response from your partner. Rather than bring up the idea of couples therapy during a fight, you should pick a good time to calmly present the idea. While presenting the idea to your partner, open up a discussion about it where you can express your feelings and more importantly, listen to what they are thinking.
Once you find a good time to bring up the conversation of couples counseling, remember to not start every sentence with “I” or “you”. Rather, use “we”. For example, instead of saying, “I want to go to couples therapy because you keep disagreeing with me” say, “We could really benefit from counseling and address any problems we have”. Using “we” is less hostile and accusatory.
Give Them Space to Think
You can not control how your partner reacts to the idea of relationship counseling, no matter what way you present it. Sometimes, they will not take it well. If this is the case, don’t argue with them. Instead, give them space to think about the idea and perhaps research it more. Remember, during this time where they are thinking, you can always start counseling on your own!
Couples Counseling In Boston, MA
If you and your partner are looking into couples counseling, please contact Talk Think Thrive. Our professional counselors offer marriage counseling, relationship counseling, family therapy, and premarital counseling. Book a session today!